Right now

 

You’re probably asking yourself “How much fun would it be if I could have a neck collar like Steve has?”

 

Well, let me help you with that.  I can tell you:

 

You’ll get a lot of sympathy.  People make way when you’re walking through a crowd and apologize for getting in your way.  They stop and hold the door for you.  You get waited on a lot.  If you’re around Judy, she takes care of everything for you.  And if you’re around little children; you’ll be the most fascinating person in the room.

 

Want to spend some time alone?  Sit and watch some television.  You can’t see anything except what you’re pointed at.  You can’t even tell if there is someone there in the room with you.

 

You’ll learn how adaptable you are.  Sleeping can be a challenge, but after the first few nights sleep deprivation kicks in and you’ll start to sleep through anything.

 

Your feet get a chance to show you how much they know.  You can’t look down, so when it’s time to go down stairs, you have to back up, look down as much as you can by bending over, locate the top step and then just go for it.  Once you get your feet on the steps they know what to do.

 

If the place you live is having a goofy tan-line contest, spend some time in the sun.  I guarantee you’ll win.

 

If you enjoy a really warm neck, take a walk on a warm day.  The collar makes an awesome muffler.

 

If you want a lot of practice swallowing, put this collar on.  You get to spend a lot of time thinking about swallowing.

 

If you want to practice being blind, go for a road trip in the car; you can essentially be blind from the waist down.  You can’t look down, so you’ll find yourself feeling all about to locate your coffee cup, bottle of water, binoculars, camera, telephone, or digital recorder.  As best you can, you put everything back where it’s supposed to go, but better remember where the right place for everything is, because it’s all by touch.

But I have to warn you.  It’s not all fun and games.  When you have to go to the bathroom and you’re not sitting down; the best you can do is point and hope.