We thought the case of the chewed flip-flops had gone cold, but along comes Warren to revive it with a fresh perspective!
From: Warren Halpern
Sent: Thursday, July 30, 2015 3:57 PM
To: Steve Taylor <steve@taylorroth.com>
Subject: Mystery of the chewed beach slippers
Hello Steve,
Sorry for my late response to the mystery of the partially chewed slipper. I was on vacation and just got back today.
Over lunch, several of us discussed the case. The facts are clear, the culprit unfortunately does appear to be a family member. Initially, we felt that all signs pointed to Henry. We employed the following logic….
Annie has been a member of the family for many years, as the grand stateswoman it would be unseemly for her to stoop so low as to chew a personal item belonging to you.
Judy has also been a member of the family for many years and again it would appear to be beneath her to be involved in such a disreputable act.
Henry, the newest and youngest member of the family has already established a reputation for occasional aberrations in his behavior. We initially felt strongly that Henry was guilty of this transgression.
However, we received an anonymous tip that Judy had recently been experiencing difficulty in sleeping and had turned to the consumption of federally controlled substances to help with this issue. Our research on these controlled substances discovered that their use often leads to a condition referred to as “the munchies”. In light of this information, several of us feel that the weight of evidence leans heavily toward identifying Judy as the potential culprit. We feel that we can’t simply dismiss the possibility that after consuming one of the “edibles”, Judy may have awoken in the middle of the night with a ravenous sense of hunger and reached for something to satisfy that hunger and chewed on the slipper.
Perhaps you should pointedly ask Judy if there is a possibility that the scenario I have described is true?
Its good to be back in the office.
Warren
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