Saturday, August 1, 2015

FW: FW: Mystery of the chewed beach slippers

And now we discover there is a whole ‘nother level of the great flip flop mystery to consider.

 

From: Rock Termini [mailto:rocktermini@gmail.com]
Sent: Friday, July 31, 2015 10:18 PM
To: Steve Taylor <spt@thetaylorcompany.net>; Bill Taylor (Bill Taylor) <billt4@earthlink.net>; David Taylor (David Taylor) <taylor234@comcast.net>; Tom Taylor (Tom Taylor) <code-boy@earthlink.net>
Subject: Re: FW: Mystery of the chewed beach slippers

 

It's true that sometimes when consuming "edibles" it appears to consumers of said edibles that time travel is not only possible but recently experienced. Usually that sense is focused on travel into the future and with the mind separated from the body (i.e., the mind travels but leaves the useless body behind).  This would be travel back in time, and would involve the body.  As a first response, as I recall, the chewed flip-flops occurred PRIOR to the interfacing with "edibles". However, the possibility presents some interesting scenarios. We know the flip-flops were chewed. If Judy chewed them as a result of encountering "edibles", then she had to experience backward time travel since she appears to have chewed them before she encountered said controlled substances, which opens up several time warp and special relativity issues. So, life is going on, and the flip-flops are chewed.  Judy starts a new substance regimen and, among other events, travels back in time to chew the flip-flops. But we see the chewed flip-flops before she starts the drugs. That is possible, but we have to remember the rules of relativity and time warp that must be obeyed.  When you travel back in time and change the course of events, everything proceeding from that point in time is changed. Most of it looks the same, but the entire structure of the universe shifts.  There is an alternate theory that says that the presence of infinite choices implies that there are infinite universes where each choice plays out.  Under that scenario what Judy did by traveling back in time is shift our universe into one of the alternate universes. Either way, the flip-flops are chewed and the universe is changed - either the sequence of events that was supposed to happen is changed, or we are shifted to an alternate universe where the sequence of events is not what was "supposed" to happen.  Also, it means our world has changed and because of Judy, Donald Trump is a candidate for the GOP endorsement and is now leading the republican candidates in the polls.

On 8/1/2015 12:36 AM, Steve Taylor wrote:

We thought the case of the chewed flip-flops had gone cold, but along comes Warren to revive it with a fresh perspective!

 

From: Warren Halpern
Sent: Thursday, July 30, 2015 3:57 PM
To: Steve Taylor <steve@taylorroth.com>
Subject: Mystery of the chewed beach slippers

 

Hello Steve,

 

Sorry for my late response to the mystery of the partially chewed slipper.  I was on vacation and just got back today.

 

Over lunch, several of us discussed the case.  The facts are clear, the culprit unfortunately does appear to be a family member.  Initially, we felt that all signs pointed to Henry.  We employed the following logic….

 

Annie has been a member of the family for many years, as the grand stateswoman it would be unseemly for her to stoop so low as to chew a personal item belonging to you.

 

Judy has also been a member of the family for many years and again it would appear to be beneath her to be involved in such a disreputable act.

 

Henry, the newest and youngest member of the family has already established a reputation for occasional aberrations in his behavior.  We initially felt strongly that Henry was guilty of this transgression. 

 

However, we received an anonymous tip that Judy had recently been experiencing difficulty in sleeping and had turned to the consumption of federally controlled substances to help with this issue.  Our research on these controlled substances discovered that their use often leads to a condition referred to as “the munchies”.  In light of this information, several of us feel that the weight of evidence leans heavily toward identifying Judy as the potential culprit.  We feel that we can’t simply dismiss the possibility that after consuming one of the “edibles”, Judy may have awoken in the middle of the night with a ravenous sense of hunger and reached for something to satisfy that hunger and chewed on the slipper. 

 

Perhaps you should pointedly ask Judy if there is a possibility that the scenario I have described is true?

 

Its good to be back in the office.

 

Warren

 

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